My Choice

I don't not drink because my parents have always told me not to. I don't drink because that's not the kind of person I want to be. I don't want to be so drunk I don't know what I'm doing or saying, or what others are doing to me. I don't want to act stupid. I feel like its pointless. And not only that, it kills brain cells. I dont know about anybody else, but I need all the brain cells I can get.

And when I'm older, I can't tell my kids not to drink if I did. That's hypocritical, and that's just not the type of person I am. I've seen way too many dumb drunk people in my 16 years that that's exactly what I don't want to be. Sure when I'm older I'll drink wine, but not until then.

Too many teens I know think it's the "cool" thing to do on the weekends. Sweet, you can steal alcohol from your parents and get drunk at home. Are you supposed to get an award or something?

Thats not me.

Sincerely,
This would happen

There's always something that brings you back

So tonight, I was going to a surprise birthday party for a girl whom I went to grade school with. I picked up my best friend and we were on our way. We got there, and she was like oh.. I didn't know you guys were coming. (the girl who invited us never even showed up...). So, in order to avoid awkward situations, we left. Another girl was there, and we couldn't just leave her.......... so she came with. Blah.

After driving around aimlessly to Target, Taco Bell, Mcdonalds.... we went to go drop her off so my bestie and I could just drive around and catch up. We decided to go to our "summer spot", which is a park nearby our houses.

I pulled up, and after taking one look up to the sky, BAM. I was right back to summer 2011. Our summer song was playing and I went right back. I looked up at the stars, and was almost in tears. All the memories started flowing back that I had forgetten about in these past six months. I never wanted nothing more (yes, that is a Kenny Chesney song that does have relative meaning to my life.) And then Paradise by Coldplay played. That song, it just has meaning to me. I don't even know why, but when I listen to it, I feel something. I stuck my head out of the sun roof as The World is Ours Tonight by Gloriana played. I felt so much tonight that I hadn't felt since summer.

It was time for me to be home, so we drove the path we always took to our summer spot. Literally memories were flying out everywhere. Everybody says how much they hate Nebraska, but this is my place. It may not be much, but you have to make the best of it. There's nowhere else I'd rather be.

Sincerely,
This would happen

Well, it's just me.

So here I am, just spending my night on tumblr like I usually do, and I got to thinking (understatement of the year):

I'm not that girl that everybody likes, god do I know that. I'm not the girl that gets the best grades, but I actually really try to get the grades that I do. I know I could do better, but I'm trying. I'm the girl that will get a little jealous if you talk to other girls, but I'll never let you know that. I just want to know that I'm your girl. I don't really try to be funny, but I wanna make you laugh. I may come off as weird at first, but you'll see that it's just my crazy side. I'm the girl that's going to want to meet your mom, to see how you treat her. Because if you can't treat the most important women in your life like you should, you're not going to treat me right. I'm the girl that's going to support you through anything, and will always be there for you. I'm that girl. Why can't you see it?

I know I'm not easy to understand, but you could if you tried.

This would happen

Money can buy everything... but happiness

Lately, my family has been tight on money. I'm not even sure why, well, actually I can kind of put a couple things together, but it hasn't been like this before. Though I feel bad because I always ask for money on the weekends when I go out. I would offer to pay myself, but I go to a college prepatory school that keeps me so busy that I can't uphold a job right now. So until then, I'll try to limit my money hungry social events on Saturday nights.

But, I happen to know a few people who wouldn't ever have to deal with being tight with money. This girl lives in a 1 million dollar house, her tv comes out of the wall, her java machine comes out of the wall, her computer comes out of the wall.... she has a putting green in her backyard, not to mention a pool, a hot tub, and many other things I haven't heard about. She also has a lake house in Fremont for just her and her siblings. Wow.

And also, this kid who gets everything handed to him. His parents bought him this nice car when he turned 16, and he just now got his license. (he turns 17 next month) He pretty much has anything a kid could want, but he's still not happy.

And then it dawned on me; People who have a lot of material things tend to be the most unhappy people. Maybe it's the fact that you can buy as much as you want, but money can't buy happiness. In my book, it's not about having material things. Sweet, you can have 12 pairs of Uggs, and 10 pairs of Miss Me jeans, do I care? No, not really. And I'm not going to kiss your (insert word of choice here) because you have all of these nice things.

Bottom line is, I don't care what you have, where you live, what kind of car your parents drive, as long as you're a good person and you're nice to me, I'll respect you and return the niceness. It's about giving yourself to others, not just your material things.

Do you ever have that feeling?

Do you ever have that feeling that you just want to go out and do something? Not just any old thing, but something that's going to mean something. Something that's going to make a change, that's going to impact somebody's life. It doesn't matter if it's in a huge way, or a simple way.

Make it go away

So I'm currently in Chicago, as I am for every Christmas now to see my family. And seeing my grandma who has just gone through her first round of chemo. She's tiny. She's frail. She's started to lose her hair. All she wants to do is sleep because those dang drugs make her so tired. But whatever the doctor is concocting with those drugs, it's working. She started with 8900 cancer cells. (the normal for everybody is 35). Her doctor hoped she would at least cut that number in half, so about 4500. She had her tests done, and she's downto 890. 8.9.0. The big man has been hearing my prayers. I couldn't be happier for her.

But it's still hard to watch her go through this. Though she's getting better, I still want to make it all go away.

She took off her hat, and she was afraid that she'd scare my brother and I. My dad said, "I'm bald, does that mean you love me any less than if I had hair?" and she said, "well no." So my dad kissed her on the head and said, "so we love you, hair or no hair."

We try to make it a light hearted subject for her. We all said we should go grab all the wigs and take a picture with her. My family tries to do what we can to make her feel okay. I love that.


Sincerely,
This would happen

How could I ever.

I hear wheat some people go through, and it's like, how could I ever complain about anything, when I've never had to go through anything like that?

This would happen