Not again.

The worst four words you could hear when they're talking about somebody you love, "so and so has cancer." your stomach drops. Your heart races. You feel as if you've gone numb. Your words choke in your mouth, before you even try to say them. Cancer. It's a scary word. Cancer: 1. a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, especially one originating in epithelium, tending to recur after excision and to metastasize to other sites.

My grandma has cancer. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. I just want her to be okay. I love her so much, and I'm going to have to see her go through this. I'm going to have to see her with no hair. I'm going to have to hear her talk about chemo. That's something I never wanted to hear anyone in my family ever say. 

She talked about it like it was no big deal. That she would just go through the chemo and hopefully it'll work. I admire her for that, because here I am bawling my eyes out at the thought of her having to go through this. Ovarian cancer. She's already had cancer before, but it was breast cancer. But because she has gone through breast cancer, she was more likely to get ovarian cancer. Why. Why does she have to go though this, twice.

As if it's not hard enough that this year we also found out she has Alzheimer's. But now this too.

I know she'll get through this, I know it's not terminal. But that doesn't change my feelings on this. I seriously love her so much, she understands me like nobody else does in my family. I don't want to see her go through this.

I'm going to pray with all my heart to the big guy that she gets better as soon as she can. I want my Memaw Shirley to be healthy and cancer free. She's a strong woman, and I know she'll get though it will all the support in the world. <3

This would happen